Have you ever just thought about the power of God's love? And have been so overwhelmed? Have you ever thought about the reality that Jesus died for you? He died for you. He had You in mind when he was there on the cross. He had me in mind. It is crazy incredible.
Tonight I listened to "Love Song" by Third Day. I have heard it before, but tonight it felt like Jesus was singing it to me. I was so overcome I was sobbing...overcome with his love.
[1st Verse]
I've heard it said that a man would climb a mountain
Just to be with the one he loves.
How many times has he broken that promise
It has never been done.
I've never climbed the highest mountain,
But I walked the hill of Calvary.
[Chorus]
Just to be with you, I will do anything
There's no price I would not pay no
Just to be with you, I would give everything
I would give my life away.
[2nd Verse]
I've heard it said that a man would swim the ocean
Just to be with the one he loves
All of those dreams are an empty motion.
It can never be done.
I've never swam the deepest ocean,
But I walked upon the raging sea.
[Repeat Chorus]
Just to be with you, I will do anything
There's no price I would not pay no
Just to be with you, I would give everything
I would give my life away.
[Bridge]
I know that you don't understand
the fullness of My love.
How I died upon the cross for your sins.
And I know that you don't realize
how much that I give you
But I promise, I would do it all again.
Just to be with you, I've done everything
There's no price I did not pay no
Just to be with you, I gave everything
Yes, I gave my life away.
Just to be with you.
My best friend wrote Matthew 6:31-34 on my hand today when she surprised me and visited me at work. When I arrived home, I immediately read the verses.
"So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
I spend a lot of my day worrying. Whether it be about struggles I am going through, whether I will have enough time to do everything I need to do, or even what other people think of me.
But why do I worry? I have a God who can do immeasurably more than I could ever ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).
I should FIRST seek HIS Kingdom and HIS Righteousness. If I seek HIM and follow after HIM, all my needs will be met because I am focused solely on my wonderful Father. I shouldn't worry about tomorrow. God has that in His hands.
I read a quote today in the book "Do Hards Things". It was from a girl around my age. She said, "I don't know what the future holds, but I know Who's holding the future."
That gives me peace.
My life has changed drastically. My plans went down the drain. God told me that my plans were not His plans. I was confused, I doubted, I questioned. God said He knew what he was doing.
And so now I'm wondering...what now? He said it's not the time, so I will wait. But what do I do in the meantime?
Today I was reading a "Do Hard Things" by Alex and Brett Harris (a book on my summer reading list). The whole book is about a teenage rebellion against low expectations. In the chapter entitled "Generation Rising" they began talking about teenagers who had incredible ideas and made them into world changing organizations. They then used the word "Holy Ambition". I then read this:
"John Piper, pasor and author, defines a holy ambition as something that you really, really, really want to do--and that God wants you to do to also. Some people would call this passion, but it's passion under the Lordship of Jesus Christ. What's yours?"
I began thinking. Thinking of all the things I wanted to do and ideas that have crossed my mind in the past that I have not acted on. The world seemed to open up. So many opportunities. So..now what? Time for prayer.
A song came to my mind as I was contemplating this. Here are the lyrics:
"Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You
To know and follow hard after you
To grow as your dicsiple in your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you, my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you
Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after you
To know and follow hard after you
To grow as your disciple in the truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lord to know and follow hard after you
And to grow as your disciple in your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you"
I need to follow after Him; run after Him. Know Him. And I believe that if I do that, and my mindset is focused solely on Him, His plans will become my plans. His ambitions will become my ambitions. His passions will become my passions. And everything will work out for the good, because I love Him.
I was struggling. Fighting. Confused. Upset. I didn't understand. Really God? This is what you want me to do? But what about my life? What about my plan?
"I have a better plan," He said.
But I was still questioning. What's the plan? Tell me. Let me see it.
"I have called you and you have a purpose. I have a plan for you; Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
But I still didn't get it. I didn't see these plans. They weren't tangible. They weren't understandable.
But He spoke again, "Everything will work out for the good. Trust Me."
I knew He spoke truth. Though I don't understand, I will trust and obey.
Sometimes God asks us to do difficult things. But He has a plan, one that is better than we could ever plan or imagine. But we must listen, trust, and obey.
And we must also rely on Him for strength to see it through.
He will be here with me through it all. 
If the name Sarah Camille doesn't ring a bell, I don't think you will forget it soon after this. Sarah is a Christian Acoustic music artist who is hoping to, "...write from a stand-point where people from a lot of stages of life can relate to what I'm feeling or see God how I do."
According to her Manager, Caleb Smith, she is a very unique musician."She writes her own music. She plays more instruments than the common recording artists. She doesn’t write her songs with the intention of having fame and fortune. She writes her songs to open up about herself and to reach out to people. She continues to do the complete opposite in how a typical recording artist acts, records, etc. She is her own person and she makes sure that everyone acknowledges that," he stated.
Sarah has been playing music since longer than she can remember and now she plays six instruments, not including her voice: the guitar, violin, piano, mandolin, saxophone, and french horn. She says her inspiration was her siblings, they were the reason why she wanted to play music. "I idolized my siblings, so they were the ones who got me interested," she said.
She began playing violin when she was four years old and has performed for a variety of audiences since then. In fact, one of the first times that Caleb Smith heard Sarah perform was when she was playing violin many years ago, way before he ever thought of being her manager, or anyone's for that matter. But God's plan was at work. Sarah began writing her own songs when she was in fifth grade. She started because of her older sister who played guitar and also wrote songs. The first time she performed one of her own songs was in 6th grade. "the first time I performed a song I had written was at a youth camp in 6th grade. I was so nervous. I was positive I was going to forget the words, but it worked out just fine. A friend of mine sang it with me, so that made it even better."
As many do, Sarah did dream of recording her music some day. "The opportunity arose from my former violin teacher's husnband. He had a recording studio in their house, and after I played them a few songs I had written, they told me I had to record," sarah explained. Sarah recorded her songs and now has an EP out on itunes, amazon, and other places on the web thanks to her signing with Failcookie Records, managed by Caleb Smith. You can buy her album here at amazon: 
Recently I began an accountability pact with my best friend and we have a series of questions we ask each other to stay accountable. One of the questions she asked me was: Have you let anyone rob you of your joy? I had to say...yes...
Yes, I have let people, myself, or the devil rob me of my joy...the Lord's joy. It was difficult to say, but it hit me like a nail. Why do I let people rob me of this wonderful joy that the Lord has given me?
Lately, I have been extremely happy, joyous, and excited about my life and what God is doing in it. I have been tremendously excited and thrilled. I was enveloped in the very essence of the word joy, which has the synonyms of delight, bliss, happiness, and enjoyment. But yesterday and the day before I just felt down..for no apparent reason. At work I let myself become irritated with the slightest thing, even snapping at a co-worker.
I decided to look up the word "joy" in the bible index. I came up with 10 pages of results. Wow, that must mean that it's important. After reading just a few, I realize that God gives us JOY and the Lord is good and we should rejoice in Him.
I once heard that God gives us joy, but it is our choice whether to accept it and rejoice. It's like God is just pouring down joy and it's rushing down like a wonderful waterfall and we are standing there in front of it. It's our choice whether or not we step into it and become engulfed by this joy. God's joy is waiting, will you accept it? Or will you let someone rob you of your joy?
My challenge to myself is to accept this wonderful gift of joy the Lord has given me and to walk into the waterfall and be enveloped by bliss. I will try my best not to let anyone rob me of this joy and to focus my eyes on Jesus because I can only do this with His help.
It was a date. We walked around that duck pond side by side; talking at times, and other times completely silent. I looked up at him; tall, dark, and handsome. I smiled. It was dusk and the warm summer air was comforting. We sat on the bench underneath a willow tree facing the pond; watching the ducks and the geese as they swam around. He turned and looked at me, I knew he had something to say; something serious. He took something out of his pocket and held it in front of me. It was a box; a small black box. I took it, opening it slowly. It was a ring.
You might be completely confused right now. You might think I am engaged. I am not. This even happened when I was just thirteen. And that tall, dark, and handsome man I was on a date with was none other than my dad. It was soon after my 13th birthday and the ring was a purity ring.
At the time, I had never heard of a purity ring. Ever. I didn't know what it was or what it signified. My dad did explain to me however. It was a reminder for me. A symbol of the purity that I had and that I was going to keep. This little event that happened when I was thirteen is still very special to me. Although it wasn't a wedding proposal, it almost felt like one. It was a proposal. I felt like my dad was asking something of me. "Ali, will you promise to keep your purity? Will you accept this ring as a reminder and a symbol of that promise?" It was wonderful.
Most girls wear their purity ring on their left ring finger; the finger where fiances wear their engagement ring and the finger where brides where their wedding ring. At first, I wore my ring on my right index finger. Not because I didn't feel that it was the steps before the previous rings I mentioned, but because the ring was too large for that finger. I did grow however and soon I wore it on that finger.
For five years I wore it, until October of 2009. That is when I lost my purity ring. Now, I had lost it before this, but I had found it easily. This time, It seems, I have lost it for good. I think about it almost every day. I lost this promise..this symbol that my dad gave me one special night. It meant so much to me. I know, it is only a ring..only a symbol. Just 2 nights ago I cried while talking to my friend about it. She told me that the ring is just a "thing". I haven't lost my dad or the request from him to stay pure, and I haven't lost my promise. I only lost the ring.
She is right. I am still sad..but I cling to that promise and the memory of that night with my dad. That is what is special.
This is it: the last day. I have officially worn no makeup for thirty days; I have been naked. I took off my mask that I used to hide myself in front of the world and chose to be humble before God; beautifying myself spiritually in His Word instead of physically for the world. Using the time in the morning that I used to put on makeup, to instead, pray and read the Word. This fast that seemed so daunting at the beginning is now over and I have conquered it. I don't need a mask. I am me; Ali, a daughter of the King of the universe. That is nothing to hide. I have learned so much in the past thirty days as you may have seen through my past blog posts.
This was a huge experience for me; not only because of the thing that I was fasting from, but because I was fasting period. The last time I remembered fasting was the 30 hour famine when I didn't eat for 30 hours. And really...I don't think I grew much from that experience. All I remember was that I was really hungry.
I do remember the first time I fasted...or I remember the story my mom told me. I was quite little and I just told my mom I wasn't going to eat with the family at lunch that day because I felt like God wanted me to fast. Yes, seems quite silly. I don't think it was anything like this fast. But I do think it was me, as a child, listening to God and obeying Him. It was God training me for the future...learning to not only listen to Him, but obey. Obeying Him when I heard Him that morning telling me to fast from makeup was extremely difficult..I'm not going to lie. But it was so worth it. A quote I heard lately is: "When God says 'no' to something, it's because He's saying 'yes' to something better." God's plan is so much better than my own. I only need to listen and obey.
1 Thessalonians 5:21-22:
"Test everything. Hold on to good. Avoid every kind of evil."
This is the verse that convicted me when I read it in the book "Not Even A Hint" by Joshua Harris. Test everything.
Here is a quote from John Wesley's mother that she sent him in a letter after he asked her "What is sin?": "Take this rule: whatever weakens your reason, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God, or takes off the relish of spiritual things; in short, whatever increases the strength and authority of your body over your mind, that thing is sin to you, however innocent it amy be in itself."
This is definitely a "what would Jesus do?" attitude. Taking every little thing you do and asking yourself if it helps further God's kingdom, and if it strengthens your relationship with Christ. As I continued reading the book I began thinking about what I watch and what I listen to and is it pleasing to God?
I also realized I cannot do this alone. Yes, of course I have Christ. He is always and will always be with me forever. But I decided I need an accountability partner.
Proverbs 27:17 says: "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
Hebrews 10:24-25 says: "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the custom of doing, but let us encourage one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching."
Two days ago I texted my friend and asked her if she would like to be my accountability partner. I told her we would talk more in detail about it later but I wanted to ask. But I let her know that I was completely serious about it and that I wanted it to be challenging and intense. I kept telling her I was serious; dead serious; dead dead in the grave serious.
Last night I wrote down an outline of what our accountability would be and the promises we would make to eachother to keep eachother accountable and the questions we would ask eachother and scripture verses. I stayed up until 1 in the morning writing and shaking with excitement.
I gave the papers to my frined today and asked her to read them and let me know what she thought. Later that afternoon I recieved a text saying: "I'm in". I was thrilled. But I asked her if she was sure. She said she was positive and she already felt attacked by satan on the way home and overwhelmed.
I am excited about where this is going to take us and how this is going to shape us and make us more godly women. We would appreciate pray as we begin this journey.
I thank God for my friend. She is amazing.
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"I forgive you."
Such wonderful words to hear...and such difficult words to say. Most of us have had to say these words to someone. Perhaps it was when we were younger and we called one of our siblings a 'butt head' or pushed them when playing outside. But maybe it was something even more serious. Maybe it was to someone who deeply hurt you.
That is the most difficult time to say those words.
28 days ago I had a dream about someone that had hurt me last fall. When I woke up the Lord convicted me that I hadn't forgiven that person yet. So right there, in my heart, I forgave them. It felt pretty great to get that load off of my shoulders, that grudge that I had held on to.
That afternoon I saw that person from afar. I had a burning urge inside to run up to him and tell him that I forgave him. But then I thought no...that would be really weird...especially since he was in his car in a drivethrough of a restaurant. I am not sure if that urge was God...or just me..but I chickened out and I went home. I did send him a message however telling him I forgave him. Surprisingly he replied and told me how shocked he was to recieve it and that it was good to hear. We actually agreed to smile and say hi to each other when we saw each other again instead being awkward.
Forgiving someone is humbling. Forgiving someone is freeing. I encourage you today to think about someone who had done you wrong. Have you forgiven them? I encourage you to do so. I know it will be difficult..believe me. But it is so much better once you make that choice.
