What You Say

What you say
What you do
Every day
Torn in two
What I hear
Your defense
Makes me fear
It's intense
Maybe you aren't who you say
I hope you are not
lying to get your way
Cause I'll be shot
Devastated
Burned and hot
Making things complicated
I wish you were him
I ignore the annoying
Go out on a limb
It's only destroying
Pretending to be content
Satisfied with not enough
Cutting down the time we spent
This relationship is a bluff

Never Say Never

Never say never
You may think you are clever
But people will change
Life will rearrange
You can't dictate the future
Eventually life will suture
Never underestimate
Things will always complicate
Never say never
Always endeavor
Leave your mind open
Watch your words spoken
Never say never

Hiding

Smile so you won't see
Hide so it seems like I'm fine
I don't think I'll ever be free
What I want will never be mine
You don't care, you just leave me be
But the tears keep falling
Maybe it's a sign
That I'll never stop faking
Always on the side of the line
Why let others feel my pain?
I'll just wear this mask
Drive in the right lane
Who would dare to ask?
They'll just pass on by the rain
Cause they don't want to know

Still in Pain

I’m still hurting
Still in pain
I wish you’d go away
Every time I see you
I feel it again
This ache in my heart
An awful twinge
It makes me cringe
Will it ever go away?
Will the memories ever leave?
Or will they stick to me forever
Infixing the pain
Please go away

Good or Bad

Good or bad
Happy or Sad
Everyday is the same
No one knows my name
I sit in the rain
Let it wash away the pain
Try to find hope
There’s no grip to that rope
No way to go on
All friends are gone
They must be mad
Good or bad

Can't Get Away

I can’t get away from you
You’ve inhabited me and where I roam
The place I feel safe
The place I call home
You’ve hurt me enough
Why do you want more?
I know I am tough
But I can’t even the score
My limbs go weak
I want to cry
I feel like a freak
I don’t know why
I can’t get away from you
You’ve inhabited me and where I roam
The place I feel safe
The place I call home
You give me pain
I struggle to survive
What do you gain?
I need to be revived
Do you enjoy?
Seeing me hurt
Do you like to destroy?
This you assert
No man, just a boy
Grounding me into dirt
I can’t get away from you
You’ve inhabited me and where I roam
The place I feel safe
The place I call home

Forgetting October

The way I felt for you
The pain you brought me through
It’s all that I gained
My feelings for you are strained
Hate is not a strong enough word
For what has occurred
But the lesson is now learned
All about being burned
I’m never going back
Cause now I have everything I lacked
So now I’m forgetting October
I’m finally sober
Cause you got me wasted
Your lies are what I tasted
Drunk on fake reality
What I made you out to be
I pretended you were perfect
Despite every defect
And you helped me along
Writing your own song
Changing the words
You is all I heard
Blinded by your charm
I ended up in harm
So now I’m forgetting October
I’m finally sober
Cause you got me wasted
Your lies are what I tasted
Drunk on fake reality
What I made you out to be
What I thought you were
I was so sure
But that’s when I was tipsy
You told stories like a gypsy
And I believed them all
In the season of fall
So now I’m forgetting October
I’m finally sober
Cause you got me wasted
Your lies are what I tasted
Drunk on fake reality
What I made you out to be
Never happening again
Putting behind me what has been
Moving on
Cause now you’re gone
Forgetting October
Finally Sober

Everyone Lies

Everyone lies
Words are spoken
They break their ties
Promises broken
This I realize
Never give out trust
To just anyone
It will bust
You will be overrun
Worthiness is a must
They must earn
Your special gift
Or you will burn
Everyone lies
Words are spoken
They break their ties
Promises broken
Say what you mean
Do what you say
Wash the slate clean
Start a new day
Don’t make a scene
Everyone lies
Words are spoken
They break their ties
Promises broken
Forgive and forget
It’s harder than it seems
They’ll never pay the debt
You can’t block out the screams
You want to give a threat
But it will ruin your dreams
Everyone lies
Words are spoken
They break their ties
Promises broken

The One I Fear

I see the question in your eyes
Reprehension brings demise
I can’t trust you any longer
This will only make me stronger
I wish you could see
How we were never meant to be
Walk away now
I will not allow
This can’t go on
I miss the dawn
Do not act like it’s the same
I never want to remember your name
But I can’t avoid it
I fell into this pit
There is no getting out
Even if I shout
No help will come
I feel so dumb
Only you are here
The one I fear

"....Quotes..."

I love quotes. Words are extremely important to me and so I love to save and remember what people say. Most of them are comedic, but a few are advice, or motivational. I have a word document that is fourteen pages long. It is full of quotes. I have a quotationary. Yes, I'm pretty much addicted.
Some of my favorites: Ali spills ice cream on her shirt. Molly: “Great Ali, It’s good to see that you still need a bra…” *peals of laughter from the group* Molly: “I mean a bib!” *more peals of laughter*

Mom: “Were you listening?” My brother Elijah: “Yes” Mom: “What did I say?” My brother Elijah: “I couldn’t tell because you were talking.”
“You are going to hurt and be hurt. But then you will love and be loved. And I promise you it’s worth it.” – A very awesome adopted sister
Ali: “Caleb loves you” Younger brother Philip sits and stares blankly for a minute. Philip: “Ew.”

I might put in a quote randomly in blog posts, just because I am utterly obsessed with them. They are memories, they are advice, the are awesome. Skg

Something

Let’s turn nothing into something
Let’s turn thoughts into actions
Turn my heart inside out
Until my soul has no doubt
I reach out
Take tomorrow
Let’s not doubt
I’ll keep your sorrow
Finding meaning in this life
I want more than just repetition
This world has nothing for me now
Dear God, give me a mission
Let’s turn nothing into something
Let’s turn thoughts into actions
Turn my heart inside out
Until my soul has no doubt
I want more than this
No more going through the motions
Cause I know something’s amiss
I will swim across the Ocean
I will persist
No more failing
No Rejection
Let us keep on prevailing
We can try for perfection
Let’s turn nothing into something
Let’s turn thoughts into actions
Turn my heart inside out
Until my soul has no doubt

Introducing Scar Girl

Hello world. Welcome to the magical world of scar girl. My birth name is Alison or Ali for short. I am a senior in higschool and I am a daughter of the most high king, Jesus Christ. Through Him, I can do all things. I enjoy writing, playing basketball, and hanging out with my friends and family. I am highly interested in microbiology and the rest of God's incredible creation. In the fall, when I begin college, I will major in cellular and molecular biology. I work at a local coffee shop/cafe and I love it. The people I work with are awesome and the customers are so great. I've always wanted to write a blog. I never knew what I would write about in that blog, but that never bothered me much. I could always write for hours and not run out of things to write about. So here it is...the magical world of scar girl. Behind the Name: I have always been fascinated with scars. I do not have that many, but I still think they are incredible looking. Unlike most people, I notice scars on others and I ask about them. This might seem very strange to some, but it is what I do. This gets the other person talking and most likely presents a story on how they recieved that scar. Sometimes it was from when they were a little kid and they just fell. Sometimes it is from a bike or car accident. Sometimes it is from past surgery. Sometimes it is from something off the wall. I start a conversation, and I get to know a little something about that person. I see their past. I see what they struggled through. I see how it has molded them into who they are today. My best guy friend is the one who first called me scar girl. After that, my best gal friend morphed it into one word by just calling me "Skg" last summer. The name stuck and she always calls me that. It is a nickname that my close friends call me. In my blog, I hope to entertain you with my thoughts, my poetry (which I write often), and with humorous stories in my life that come from my friends, family, school, or my job. Welcome to the magical world of scar girl. I hope you enjoy your stay. Skg

The Bite

Betrayed and hurt
Stabbed in the back
Treated like dirt
You cut and you hacked
My heart fell to pieces
My sight went black
I only saw the outside
All shiny and white
Not your core
Which was dark as night
You hypocrite
You slithering snake
Your venom poisoned me
You are such a fake
I can’t find the cure
I’ll need it tonight
If I want to live
Through another fight
What you did was wrong
It was painful, your bite
Thought you cared
Thought you loved
Thought you were honest and true
But none of the above
The tooth marks are there
Right in plain sight
I may try to forget
But no matter my plight
The scars will remain
I will remember the bite

What if the Rain Washes Me Away

The clouds roll
The wind blows
Lightning strikes
The ground below
And then the rain falls
Tickling my nose
Stealing my breath away
Sweeping my hair
Goosebumps cover my arms
I wonder if I dare
My whole body’s shivering
From my head to my toes
I raise my head up to the sky
Even though my mind says “no”
The rain hits my cheeks
My heart skips a beat
And I ask the question
What if the rain washes me away?
Leaving none of my remains
I know I’m supposed to have faith
But even Peter took a dip in the waves
People might call me a doubting Thomas
But even though it might sound silly I still ask the question
What if the rain washes me away?
I stepped out in faith
Didn’t think twice about it
But now I am afraid
Reaching my hands to the sky
Trying to find my faith
What if Jesus was beside me now?
Would he be ashamed and cast me out?
But now I think
Jesus wouldn’t let the rain wash me away
Even though I did doubt
He’d grab my hand and pull me out
And I’d wonder why I ever had a doubt
And why I asked the question ‘What if the rain washes me away?’
Because Jesus will never turn his back on me
Even though I turned my back on him
I have so little faith
Yet He loves me
But why would he waste his time
On a wretch like me?
His love is so unimaginable
Just wait and see
Cause you will see it too
Just like me
Before the rain washes you away