Darkness

The darkness quiets me.
I sit in the stillness of nothing
I look up and squint my eyes,
I can see the stars
but they are so far away.
They are dreams that were broken,
broken apart into little specks
that can never be put back together,
nor can they ever be reached.
I feel small in this pitch of blackness
No need to look up any more,
it is unreachable.

Say One Thing Do Another

You hypocrite.
You say everything is good,
you say you have changed.
You say you love God
but you haven’t given everything.
You are mean and you hurt people with your words.
So I think you have a girlfriend
but you sure don’t act like you do.
You flirt with many girls,
talk like you are looking for someone new.
You talk about the future,
but what about the present?
What are you doing now?
I want to know what’s going through your head
You think you’re so cool,
and better than everybody else.
You get by with not much.
You talk big
but you don’t have that touch
I don’t know what to think of you
You make me angry with your games
You say one thing do another
You are just the same
and I wonder if you have ever changed.

Right Here Beside Me

When you’re
on your knees
and you’re
screaming please
God I can’t do this on my own.
You realize
that you’re
not alone
and He’s right there
beside you
and you can’t help but cry
cause you know it’s alright.
You’re in His presence
and it reasures you
of everything,
everything that was promised.
The plans that you know He has,
they’ll all come true
and you know
everything will work out for the good
because you’re
not alone.
He’s right there beside you
and you can’t help but cry
cause you know it’s alright.
Jesus hold me tonight
cause I just want to be with You.
Every breath I take with You,
every step I take will be right behind Yours
and when I run out of air
You breath Your life into me.
You are my strength
when I can’t take another step,
You carry me
and I’m not alone
cause you’re right here beside me.
I can’t help but cry
cause I know it’s alright.

Joy in His Goodness

I love hearing from you:
what you are learning,
what you are doing,
how you are growing,
the joy that’s in your heart.
I see God working in you
and I hear it throuh your words.
I see your heart changing
and it makes my spirit glad.
I want to leap for joy
and I want to sing His praise.
He answered my prayers
I see them answered in you
and it makes me smile
and I can never stop
Thank you Lord for your goodness
Your goodness never ends

I Almost Cried

What if I told you?
I almost cried
that night I said goodbye
when the time wasn’t real long
and you thought I was so strong.
I almost cried
as if you had died.
No, I’m not lying
but you were fine
and I was way out of line.
Thank goodness you don’t know
what’s behind these brown eyes
I almost cried

Angry

Why is it so easy?
It’s so easy to be angry over nothing,
to light a spark of jealosy
to be mad at your enemy.
How much of our life do we spend
cursing ones who could be friends?
Sarcastic comments and snide remarks
fill our minds and our hearts.
Why can’t I be calm?
Why can’t I just sing a psalm?
Praising instead of whining
and always try to find the silver lining.
But this anger builds inside of me,
it builds so high I cannot see.

You Alone

When I am hungry
let me hunger for you.
When I am thirsty
let me thirst for your voice.
Let your words be my fulfillment
and let me not crave anything else.
Let my appetite be satisfied
by you and you alone.

Let Me

Let your name be glorified
Let your presence fill the earth
Let me further your kingdom
Let me do your will
and when I succeed
let people not look at me
let them look at you.
Let them see you
Let them see you through me

Make Me

Make me a servant A servant for You Make me want to Do everything for You Make my heart long Long to know Your will Make my life A testimony for You

I Wonder

Can you believe what you are saying now?
You make me so confused.
I don’t even know how
What you say about yourself
and what others say about you.
It sounds like you’re hiding something
I hear all the hints
as if there is something else,
something else I don’t know.
They say you’re not the same,
not the same when you’re around me
and I wonder,
and I wonder.
I wonder what is true.
Because when I hear you speaking,
every word is bleeding
with the blood of your lies,
the blood of your lies.
Every lie bleeds now
because every lie is a truth,
a truth that’s been murdered by you
and turned into something else;
Something else I cannot see,
because you lied to me.
I wonder
and I wonder.
I wonder what is true.
You seem like you are telling me the truth
but then is everyone else a liar?
Or are you just not telling all?
Are you hiding secrets from me?
But isn’t that a lie as well?
I wonder
and I wonder.
I wonder what is true.
But I don’t want to question you.
I want the truth to come naturally
and I want you to trust me,
though I wonder
and I wonder.
I wonder what is true

You Never Change

You're always there
You never change
You always love
You always know
You alwasys mold my ever softening heart
You always see my every thought
You always comfort
You always catch my every tear
You always keep me safe from every harm
You are always patient
when I am not.
You always have plans
What I do not
and when I do
Yours are always better
You always wait
when I run away.
You're always there
when I come back.
You never change

More of A Life

Life seems to go up and down
So fast that I don’t know
Like a rollar coaster
I don’t know whether to put my hands in the air
or whether to scream and cover my eyes.
I have high highs
and I have low lows.
Sometimes I’m in the valley
and sometimes I’m climbing up the mountain,
I’ve seemed to have lost my thrill.
I miss the joy I had in life.
To get it back I would kill
Depressed and lonely
Everything was going wrong
I was confused and befuddled
I was blind and mute
No smile on my face
No acting all cute
But I seemed to be doing well
Hiding my feelings of meltdown
Would I ever get back up again?
I fell oh so hard Into this hole that’s so dark
and I’m sitting here oh so scared
I can’t see a thing
Not even my own hand
But I feel the dirty garbage around me
And the tears sliding down my face
But I don’t feel loved
But you woke me up
You pulled me out of that hole
You said ‘child, I’d do anything for you’
And You just want to be with me
Want to hold me close
You love me more than anyone could
And you overwhelm me with your grace
So I fall down on my face
Held captive by your love
I won the race
That race that everyone runs
They are searching for something
Something to fill them up
Well I know I’ve found it!
Because of you I am what I am
More than I could ever be
Alone I am only a weak child
But with You I can do all things
And I am joyful I’ve found my thrill
Serving you til the very end
Following my Jesus
Taking up my cross
Because You did everything for me
You gave everything for me
Payed the highest price
Loved like no one else has ever loved

Just to be with me..He did everything

Have you ever just thought about the power of God's love? And have been so overwhelmed? Have you ever thought about the reality that Jesus died for you? He died for you. He had You in mind when he was there on the cross. He had me in mind. It is crazy incredible. Tonight I listened to "Love Song" by Third Day. I have heard it before, but tonight it felt like Jesus was singing it to me. I was so overcome I was sobbing...overcome with his love. [1st Verse] I've heard it said that a man would climb a mountain Just to be with the one he loves. How many times has he broken that promise It has never been done. I've never climbed the highest mountain, But I walked the hill of Calvary. [Chorus] Just to be with you, I will do anything There's no price I would not pay no Just to be with you, I would give everything I would give my life away. [2nd Verse] I've heard it said that a man would swim the ocean Just to be with the one he loves All of those dreams are an empty motion. It can never be done. I've never swam the deepest ocean, But I walked upon the raging sea. [Repeat Chorus] Just to be with you, I will do anything There's no price I would not pay no Just to be with you, I would give everything I would give my life away. [Bridge] I know that you don't understand the fullness of My love. How I died upon the cross for your sins. And I know that you don't realize how much that I give you But I promise, I would do it all again. Just to be with you, I've done everything There's no price I did not pay no Just to be with you, I gave everything Yes, I gave my life away. Just to be with you.

Important at the Time

It’s funny what seemed important at the time
Now it doesn’t mean anything
Not anything at all I thought that it’d last forever
But no, it didn’t last long at all
What I poured my heart into
All the time I wasted
Did it mean anything at all?
Just another mistake
Just another regret
Look at me
Aren’t I piling them on?
But it seemed important at the time
Boy was I wrong
It wasn’t even close to sublime
It wasn’t even long
A speedy recovery
Or so it seemed
It just seemed important at the time

Do You Remember?

Do you remember, when you promised?
When you said you’d never forget
And I thought the same
We were so naïve
Do you remember, when we made plans?
You were so sure
And I went right along
Our vision was blocked
Blocked by who knows what
Do you remember?
The want to be loved?
The want to be wanted?
The want to be needed?
All selfish desires Do you remember?

The Magical World of Scar Girl...

The magical world of scar girl now has it's own website. That's right. Big time. www.themagicalworldofscargirl.com. I have almost every single one of my poems on there right now and I will continue posting them. I will still be posting them here as well, but I believe, as time goes on I will be switching over to my website completely. I will be so excited if you become a member! And I will greatly appreciate it. You will be updated when I post new poems and other news. Even if you just check it out here that would be awesome

Running

A mess of sweaty curls cover my face
The wind is still
but I keep running the race
One step after another
My shoes hit the pavement
A steady rhythm in my soul
My chest starts to pound
My breathing is on a roll
I listen to the sound
as my strength begins to take its toll

There's A Reason

Why do you hate me?
What have I done?
I try to keep my distance
You keep adding on the miles
I’m not trying anything I promise
If only you would just let me speak I would tell you all
But you hide your face
Hiding behind your fear and your jealosy
I know there is more
I know you must feel pain
There’s a reason for this madness
I know why you feel this disdain
If only I could talk to you
Stop running away
I’m not trying to teart you from him
I’m just being his friend
I know there’s a reason you’re protective
 I just wish I knew the underlying scars

Afraid

Why am I always afraid?
Is this the pessimist inside me?
Or am I just a coward
This I cannot see
I never ask because I hate the word “no”
Am I missing out?
Missing out on everything that is for me
I become jealous
I never show it
I become nervous
I know you see it
Is it my lack of faith?
Was David afraid?
When he faced goliath
Was Paul frightened?
When he was in prison
Was Esther nervous?
When she had to speak to the king
And yet they are seen as faithful
Do I have a chance?

This Life is A Mess

This life is messed up
and I can’t fix it.
We make it a mess
Too big to clean up
I think we need help
But that’s just me
Maybe I’m just thinking too much
Ever since I was born I was fallen
I mean, sinful, and wrong minded
No one taught me the bad I already knew that
I fell down and I got up
I smiled and I frowned
I lied to people and was lied to
I have been betrayed
and I have been the betrayer
This life is a mess
Oh I must confess
I have stolen
and I’ve been stolen from
I’ve gossiped and I’ve been gossiped about
I’ve been hurt so many times
But I have also hurt people
I’ve been through struggles and pains
Even addictions as big as migraines
But I’ve also helped people through struggles and pains
Gave out advice when they needed it
Comforted them in their sorrow
This life is a mess
Oh I must confess
I’ve made friends and I’ve lost them
I’ve started things and I’ve ended them
I have made mistakes and I regret them
But I’ve also learned from them
I have been through the valley
and I have been on the top of the mountain
I’ve been fired up
I’ve even been depressed
I have high highs
and I have low lows
This life is a mess
I must confess
I can do nothing on my own
There is only One who can clean it up

Secret

So you had this little secret
Never told a soul
But it’s getting kinda heavy
You just want to set down this load
You don’t know where to turn
And you don’t know who to trust
You wonder if they’ll judge you
You just want to feel loved
But you’re scared
It’s a risk
You keep fighting with yourself
Arguing about what to do
Oh little one You are loved
Run to Him
Seek His will
Unburden your load
And I know
He will show you
Just open your ears
Rest in Him
Feel the peace
That He brings
Because sometimes secrets need to be told
They hang heavy on your heart
And pretty soon you can’t tell
What’s real and what’s not
All the lies you had to tell
To keep people from knowing
Knowing the truth

Other World

Standing in the rain
It’s getting dark
The light posts shine
Shine on the pavement
I see the glare
The glossy street
It looks like a wonderland
Makes me want to dance
My hair begins to soak
I sit and stare
Stare at this other world

You Say

You say
It’s complicated
and it’s weird and a mess
I think it needs to be renovated
It doesn’t pass my test
But you say
Though you fight about a lot
She’s there for you
and you give her another shot
I think you are afraid of saying no
Though you say
you don’t want to spend your whole life
being with this girl
that you’ve been with awhile
and you’re still with her
because you say
you love her

The Unlocked Door

She treats you like a slave
I know she doesn’t care about you
Are you just trying to be brave?
This isn’t a battle
You don’t have to fight
Please just go on with your life
Are you afraid of moving on?
Can you not be friends?
Maybe she doesn’t belong
She’s just dragging you along
On this roller coaster ride
This doesn’t have to be your life
You say you don’t want it this way
You can get out right now
What’s stopping you?
Do you not know how?
Let me show you
Just end it right here
Can it be any more clear?

Already Dead

I'm so restless
Please give me peace
I don't know where to go
And I can't even breathe
I've heard it said "Lord quiet my heart"
But it's already dead
No beating in here
Just a body in the grave
Turning back and forth
Life is what I crave