The Secret to Fix this Mess of Me

This life is messed up. If you don’t know this, either you have been extremely blessed, or you or extremely ignorant. Since the fall of man, when Adam and Eve both disobeyed God and ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, man and woman have been forced to toil about the earth until we die and either go to spend eternity with Jesus, or we go to the bad place…and spend eternity separated from Him. But until we reach that blessed point, we are stuck on this planet earth. Some ask, what is our purpose? Why are we here? How did we get here?
The latter question is simple. I for one do not believe that I came from an ape. I do not believe I came out of nothing either, therefore I am forced to think on this logically. Human existence, the stars, DNA, the distance of the earth from the sun, the brain…are just a few things that make me realize that my existence is not by chance. I was designed by a creator.
Sometimes I think that only an incredibly loving and forgiving God would create such a mess as me. But the truth is, He didn’t make a mess of me, I did. My stubbornness, my pride, my quick temper, my selfishness, and all in all, my sinful nature, have gotten me into many different pits of trouble, each one varying in depth. I find myself discontent and discouraged.
The other day I read Philippians 4. In verse 11, Paul says he has learned to be content in whatever the circumstances. I read that and said “wow”…Whatever the circumstances? Like, I’m being eaten by a shark, but man, I’m still content. That kind of circumstances? I read on. Paul says he knows how it is to be in need, to have plenty, to be well fed, or to be hungry. He says he has learned the secret to being content in any and every situation he is in. I gasp. There is a secret. I must know it. The next verse said, “I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.”
I realized then what it was; it was the typical Sunday school answer. The secret is Jesus. No matter how repetitive or stupid or religious it sounds, it is powerful. Only the Lord can give me the strength to be content in this messed up life. I pray that He will give me strength. I pray through the hard times and the good. Give me strength Lord to be content whatever the circumstances may be. Help me be a light to this messed up world. Give me the strength to fix this mess of me. I can only succeed with your help, for I can do everything through you.

What World Do You Live In?

No we’re not really arguing
Sorry fixes everything
And you don’t care
About that dare
And that name that he called you
It didn’t even cut you deep
Not even a scratch on your side
Youre stronger than superman
Got brains like Einstein
But I want to know
What world do you live in?
Is it Narnia or is it neverland?
Or is it just made up by your hand
Where everything is oh so grand
And why didn’t you take me with you?
You have photographic memory
Flip the pages to study
And you make all A’s no problem
Your teachers say you’re awesome
And you don’t even work hard
You’re lazy and ungrateful
The world revolves around you
But I want to know
What world do you live in?
Is it Narnia or is it neverland?
Or is it just made by your hand
Where everything is oh so grand
And why didn’t you take me with you?
Nothing means much to you
You don’t have to work hard
Just go through the motions
That’s your only card
No ticks up your sleeve
Just as stupid as can be
But everyone likes you
You’re so popular despite
every single thing you do
But I want to know
What world do you live in?
Is it Narnia or is it neverland?
Or is it just made by your hand
Where everything is oh so grand
And why didn’t you take me with you?

Love

Love
Such a beautiful thing
Not just a word
Or a little bee sting
It has power
It drives out fear
So when you’re standing on that tower
You won’t jump because you know you’re held dear
It’s that choice that you made
You made dinner for her
A memory that will never fade
It will stick forever
And those roses that you bought will always be sitting on the counter
Because love isn’t just a feeling
It’s the things you do out of selflessness
And it even brings a type of healing
Patience, kindness, and forgiveness
It’s the choice you make ever single moment of every single day
To love or not to love?
That’s what they say
But should it even be a question?
Love
Such a beautiful thing
Not just a word
Or a little bee sting
It’s a choice
It’s not a feeling
Gotta say it with your voice
Love

For Who I Am

I know where I should be
but I'm not there
I know how i could be
but I'm not that way
and I thank God every single day
For who I am
and who he saved me from being
I'll keep believing
This faith is what keeps me going
Knowing
That good things happen
Even when you don't expect them
Life is tough sometimes
That's just me
summarize
But it could be worse
and that's why I'm thankful
for who I am

Once In Love

He says he was once in love
But he screwed it up
Broke it up
Left it in the mud
Now he wants her back
Wants some slack
But he's getting none
Not even a word
His heart is aching
And he doesn't know what to do
He keeps living life without her
But time seems to go slower
And when he catches a glimpse of her
His heart stops 
Can't breathe 
Choking on words to heave
But she only rolls her eyes as she walks on by

Enough

The boy says it all happened in room number 35 
He got caught up in all of those Stupid lies
Another mistake 
Turned into one more regret 
And He wishes It could change
But He sure wouldn't bet
And he wishes he could take it back
The sins that he made
Hide them away in a sack
And the pain that he caused
And all that it brought
Time would just pause
Have it all disappear
Wishes it would work that way 
But I'm afraid not dear 
There's this girl I met last week
Who says she's messed up
Had enough
Living in the dumpster
Hiding from the world that took everything from her
And she said it's never gonna be enough
Saying sorry only does so much
And if there was such a thing as time travel
You know she wouldn't hesitate to unravel
All the heartbreak and Scars from battle
To take away what was done
So it never had Been
To heal and forget and to feel the sun

How Do You Get Back

You've made a wrong turn
Gone down the rough path
Now you have to learn
How do you get back
Back to the life that meant something
Back to the people that took you in
Back to the time when you were living for a reason other than yourself
You don't think that you can just turn back around
And You can't see to either side of you
You just want to be found
You don't know what to do
You know the way home
But that's not where you wanna be
You don't think you would be welcome back
If it weren't for you, you'd be happy
And you think how
How do I get back?
Back to the life that meant something
Back to the people that took you in
Back to the time when you were living for a reason other than yourself
And I will tell you something
He's waiting for you
No matter how long it takes
No matter what you do
Even if you break
He will take you back
He's been there all along
Waiting for your heart to change
He knows that you're strong
You'll come back someday
Back to the life that meant something
Back to the people that took you in
Back to the time when you were living for a reason other than yourself
And he'll be waiting on you

He'll lift you up

When you think your world is crashing down
He's lifting you up
And when you can't even hear a sound
He's waiting for the perfect timing 
It goes with His plan
He knows how many stars are shining
The hairs on your head
He knows just what you're thinking
Everything said
And when you feel like you are sinking
He'll pull you out
When you can't go another step
He will carry you
When you can't seem to find the words
He'll give you a voice that's brand new
You think it's impossible
Well today that's not even a word
Because with Him you can do anything
Even fly like the birds
He'll lift you up

Lift Your Banner High

Lift your banner high
Let it soar in the sky
It’s your dream
Let it gleam
Stand tall
Never fall
Everyone will read
But you must lead
They’ll look to you
You know it’s true
Do more than just to get by
Lift your banner high

I miss you

And I get this ache 
This overwhelming feeling
of tremendous size
Tiredness I thought
But no it can't be true
I know what it really is
I sure will miss you
Even though you're beside me now
I can imagine when you're gone
I know how it feels 
For my heart to ache
I feel so cold
Missing the warmth 
The tears unfold
The letters of weeping
Slowly slide down my cheeks
Opening in unison
Emotion it leaks
If one looks closely
You can read the little thoughts
The scribbles of my mind
The emotion intertwined
I place my hands on my face 
Trying to hide
What was put into place
The ink stains my palms
Black as night
The darkness calms
I get sucked in
I can't get out
I miss you so 
My lights turn out

I Can't Imagine Tomorrow Without You

You are apart of my life
Every single thing you do
makes me realize
How much I like you
Concerned about me
Never selfish
You care to see
my character and heart
Not focused
On the outside
You understand
My fear has now all died
I feel brand new
and I can't imagine tomorrow without you
The way you look at me
So caring and gentle
It's beauty that i see
You are so respectful
I can't thank you enough
For showing me that love isn't hopeless
All guys aren't jerks A
nd maybe someday I'll fall in love too
It'll be the happiest day
I still can't believe you do
I can't imagine tomorrow without you
The conversations that we have
make me smile make me laugh
We can talk so seriously
But still have those inside jokes
I can tell you anything
I speak oh so fearlessly
I can be myself
The freedom
Is wonderfully
Invigorating me
I hope you see it too
I can't imagine tomorrow without you
I used to be afraid
of what the future holds
but now I am
So confident with you
Can't wait to watch it unfold
Writing our story
God will be our author
Maybe others will read
and it will say 'happily ever after'
I hope so too
Cause I can't imagine tomorrow without you

I Know I'm Crazy

I know I’m crazy
Face aglow
My mind is hazy
But I can’t
help this feeling
I’ll never recant
I feel like squealing
You blow my mind
So amazing
Every time
I feel like praising
I know I’m crazy
Face aglow
My mind is hazy
But you can’t blame me
I thought I had lost
What was meant to be
All that it cost
Worth every penny
Blind before
Eyes now open wide
Thought you shut the door
I tried to hide
I know I’m crazy
Face aglow
My mind is hazy
Found out I hadn’t lost
What I had
Didn’t exhaust
I’m so glad
Now you’re mine
Now I’m yours
No more being fine
It restores
I know I’m crazy
Face aglow
My mind is hazy
Never more content
You make me better
I hope you assent
I write you this letter
I know, I’m crazy

I Will Worship

I will worship.
I will worship.
God gave me a voice so I must sing
Gave me arms so I must lift them up
This offering I bring
This Overflowing cup
I will worship.
I will worship
He gave me legs so I must dance
Gave me hands so I must clap
What if this was my last chance?
Will I only take a nap?
Or will I praise the One
The one who washed away my sins!
Oh no no, I am not done
You are the warrior who always wins
I will worship.
I will worship

She Quit Life

And she quit the talk,
quit the games.
Like a hawk
she flew away
Quitting life
Giving up
Tired of strife
She poured out the cup
Dying now
Leaving the world
She doesn't know
how To keep on going
No more
No how
Shut the door
Leave behind
all the world
The evil days
make her hurl
Cutting through
Smoking depression
It is true
Though you wouldn't guess it
Hiding with the dark hair that she dyed
Baggy clothes cover
What she had tried