My life has changed drastically. My plans went down the drain. God told me that my plans were not His plans. I was confused, I doubted, I questioned. God said He knew what he was doing.
And so now I'm wondering...what now? He said it's not the time, so I will wait. But what do I do in the meantime?
Today I was reading a "Do Hard Things" by Alex and Brett Harris (a book on my summer reading list). The whole book is about a teenage rebellion against low expectations. In the chapter entitled "Generation Rising" they began talking about teenagers who had incredible ideas and made them into world changing organizations. They then used the word "Holy Ambition". I then read this:
"John Piper, pasor and author, defines a holy ambition as something that you really, really, really want to do--and that God wants you to do to also. Some people would call this passion, but it's passion under the Lordship of Jesus Christ. What's yours?"
I began thinking. Thinking of all the things I wanted to do and ideas that have crossed my mind in the past that I have not acted on. The world seemed to open up. So many opportunities. So..now what? Time for prayer.
A song came to my mind as I was contemplating this. Here are the lyrics:
"Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You
To know and follow hard after you
To grow as your dicsiple in your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you, my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you
Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after you
To know and follow hard after you
To grow as your disciple in the truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lord to know and follow hard after you
And to grow as your disciple in your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you"
I need to follow after Him; run after Him. Know Him. And I believe that if I do that, and my mindset is focused solely on Him, His plans will become my plans. His ambitions will become my ambitions. His passions will become my passions. And everything will work out for the good, because I love Him.
maggots
3 days ago
My plans have changed every year it seems like. Just when I think this is what I want to do and how I want to do, God tells me "NO!" and throws a roadblock in my path. He brings people into my life to change my mind, and slowly takes people out. He alters my mind and my thoughts. I don't want to accept it. As you know, change is my enemy. (Obama. hahahahahahaha) But God wants me to change. He changed me from a guy who wanted to grow up to be the ultimate boy scout, to wanting to skip high school and go start life NOW, to wanting to be a drummer in a rock band, to wanting to manage bands, to wanting to start a Christian label, than a label in acoustic FAR away from rock. Does God have a plan? Heck yeah! But everytime He changes my life for His plan, I want to push Him away and not follow them. But because I listened anyway, my life has only grown in happiness. I wouldn't have been happy with all of that. I thought I would, but I was wrong. He WILL change my life again. I expect it. I just know that until the day I die, I will still be falling away from His plan to follow my own. I most likely will continue to want to push Him away. But I will listen, and I will follow His plan, because only Him can truly make me happy. Not money. Not girls. Not Dodge Vipers. Not even Animal Crossing for the Wii. Only God. With that in my mindset, I know that the pain and suffering I feel temporarily will be worth it. I know that in the end, God will provide and answer my prayers, the ones I need, which are hopefully the ones I want to. But who knows. Not everyone has a Dodge Viper or Animal Crossing on every platform (I do btw. The game. I still want the car...)
ReplyDeleteI agree.. there are many fleeting ideas I had that I pushed aside, thinking they were just 'my' ideas. Many I never even prayed about. Looking back there would have been many that could have been a way to draw others into his kindgom; many that would have been ways to serve. I still like that quote; Be willing to do the ridiculous, so that God can do the miraculous. Some of our ideas seem a bit ridiculous, but with God they can turn out to be amazing. Keep listening Ali.
ReplyDeleteYou might want to listen to or read the Piper sermon this concept of Holy Ambition came from. A link: http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Sermons/ByDate/2006/1790_Holy_Ambition_To_Preach_Where_Christ_Has_Not_Been_Named/
ReplyDeleteThank You david. I read it.
ReplyDeletecheck out my new blog http://justanothertwistedsoul.blogspot.com/
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