30 Days Naked Day 30

This is it: the last day. I have officially worn no makeup for thirty days; I have been naked. I took off my mask that I used to hide myself in front of the world and chose to be humble before God; beautifying myself spiritually in His Word instead of physically for the world. Using the time in the morning that I used to put on makeup, to instead, pray and read the Word. This fast that seemed so daunting at the beginning is now over and I have conquered it. I don't need a mask. I am me; Ali, a daughter of the King of the universe. That is nothing to hide. I have learned so much in the past thirty days as you may have seen through my past blog posts. This was a huge experience for me; not only because of the thing that I was fasting from, but because I was fasting period. The last time I remembered fasting was the 30 hour famine when I didn't eat for 30 hours. And really...I don't think I grew much from that experience. All I remember was that I was really hungry. I do remember the first time I fasted...or I remember the story my mom told me. I was quite little and I just told my mom I wasn't going to eat with the family at lunch that day because I felt like God wanted me to fast. Yes, seems quite silly. I don't think it was anything like this fast. But I do think it was me, as a child, listening to God and obeying Him. It was God training me for the future...learning to not only listen to Him, but obey. Obeying Him when I heard Him that morning telling me to fast from makeup was extremely difficult..I'm not going to lie. But it was so worth it. A quote I heard lately is: "When God says 'no' to something, it's because He's saying 'yes' to something better." God's plan is so much better than my own. I only need to listen and obey.

30 Days Naked Day 29

1 Thessalonians 5:21-22: "Test everything. Hold on to good. Avoid every kind of evil." This is the verse that convicted me when I read it in the book "Not Even A Hint" by Joshua Harris. Test everything. Here is a quote from John Wesley's mother that she sent him in a letter after he asked her "What is sin?": "Take this rule: whatever weakens your reason, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God, or takes off the relish of spiritual things; in short, whatever increases the strength and authority of your body over your mind, that thing is sin to you, however innocent it amy be in itself." This is definitely a "what would Jesus do?" attitude. Taking every little thing you do and asking yourself if it helps further God's kingdom, and if it strengthens your relationship with Christ. As I continued reading the book I began thinking about what I watch and what I listen to and is it pleasing to God? I also realized I cannot do this alone. Yes, of course I have Christ. He is always and will always be with me forever. But I decided I need an accountability partner. Proverbs 27:17 says: "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." Hebrews 10:24-25 says: "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the custom of doing, but let us encourage one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Two days ago I texted my friend and asked her if she would like to be my accountability partner. I told her we would talk more in detail about it later but I wanted to ask. But I let her know that I was completely serious about it and that I wanted it to be challenging and intense. I kept telling her I was serious; dead serious; dead dead in the grave serious. Last night I wrote down an outline of what our accountability would be and the promises we would make to eachother to keep eachother accountable and the questions we would ask eachother and scripture verses. I stayed up until 1 in the morning writing and shaking with excitement. I gave the papers to my frined today and asked her to read them and let me know what she thought. Later that afternoon I recieved a text saying: "I'm in". I was thrilled. But I asked her if she was sure. She said she was positive and she already felt attacked by satan on the way home and overwhelmed. I am excited about where this is going to take us and how this is going to shape us and make us more godly women. We would appreciate pray as we begin this journey. I thank God for my friend. She is amazing.

30 Days Naked Day 28

"I forgive you." Such wonderful words to hear...and such difficult words to say. Most of us have had to say these words to someone. Perhaps it was when we were younger and we called one of our siblings a 'butt head' or pushed them when playing outside. But maybe it was something even more serious. Maybe it was to someone who deeply hurt you. That is the most difficult time to say those words. 28 days ago I had a dream about someone that had hurt me last fall. When I woke up the Lord convicted me that I hadn't forgiven that person yet. So right there, in my heart, I forgave them. It felt pretty great to get that load off of my shoulders, that grudge that I had held on to. That afternoon I saw that person from afar. I had a burning urge inside to run up to him and tell him that I forgave him. But then I thought no...that would be really weird...especially since he was in his car in a drivethrough of a restaurant. I am not sure if that urge was God...or just me..but I chickened out and I went home. I did send him a message however telling him I forgave him. Surprisingly he replied and told me how shocked he was to recieve it and that it was good to hear. We actually agreed to smile and say hi to each other when we saw each other again instead being awkward. Forgiving someone is humbling. Forgiving someone is freeing. I encourage you today to think about someone who had done you wrong. Have you forgiven them? I encourage you to do so. I know it will be difficult..believe me. But it is so much better once you make that choice.

30 Days Naked Day 27

I recently heard "Rediscover You" by Starfield on the radio. This song really spoke to me and I know I have felt this way several times in my life. Not just several...many many many times. Here are the lyrics and I encourage you to listen to the song. I need to just admit My faith is paper thin I'm feeling so burned out On religion I say an empty prayer I sing a tired song I need to just admit that the passion's gone And I want to get it back You told me Look for You and I will find So I'm here Like I'm searching for the first time Revive me, Jesus Make this cold heart start to move Help me rediscover You I want to learn to pray The way that David prayed I want my soul to burn when I hear Your name I want to feel like new I want to hunger for you Bring me back to life like only You can do Cause I don't want to stay the same You told me Look for You and I will find So I'm here Like I'm searching for the first time Revive me, Jesus Make this cold heart start to move Help me rediscover You Lord, I want to be Yours today I want to know the passion of the saints And how they were changed You told me Look for You and I will find So I'm here Like I'm searching for the first time Revive me, Jesus Make this cold heart start to move I want to burn for You Bring me back to life, Jesus Help me rediscover You

30 Days Naked Day 26

"I'm pretty darn it!" These were the words of one of my friends as she told me about her now ex-boyfriend saying he didn't find her attractive anymore. I wish more girls had this reaction to those harsh words. Instead, most find themselves wallowing in negative self talk. This statement by my friend made me smile at the time, and it still does. "Yes. Yes you are," I replied. I wish that every girl knew this...that she's pretty. Too many girls place their worth in what others say. Actually, in what guys say and what they think. This is not who our worth should be placed in. Our worth is in Jesus Christ. He thinks we are worth so much more than anyone else could ever say. He thinks we are pretty. In fact, he thinks we are way more than pretty. He thinks we are beautiful, gorgeous, and radiant inside and out. God only creates the best. You are pretty darn it.

30 Days Naked Day 25

As I stood in line at the grocery store I looked at the checkout lady. She was older, probably late fifties or early sixties, but I will admit, I am horrible at guessing people's ages. As she began scanning my items I studied her face. I didn't mean to stare, but it caught my attention. She was wearing dark eyeliner that was very thick, around her small eyes. On her eyelids was blue eyeshadow. Her face was caked with makeup. It was so thick that it actually looked like a thin mask; like the one that Robin Williams wore in the movie Mrs. Doubtfire. I began to wonder what this lady looked like without her mask. Even more so, I began to wonder about this woman's character and her life. No, I don't know the woman. Perhaps I was being judgemental by staring at her so. Do you ever recieve the urge to pray for complete strangers? That's what I did today. I prayed. And I hope to continue praying for her.

30 Days Naked Day 24

I almost forgot to write a blog today. Amazing. Six days left. It feels like forever ago is when I began this fast. So much has happened since then and there is so much I have learned. But I will reflect on the whole experience on day 30. For now, I want to say that you are beautiful. God created you in his image (genesis 1:27) and you are spectacularly beautiful to Him. I believe that true beauty is in your heart. In Psalm 33:15 it says that the Lord formed your heart. Which sounds to me as if he had it in his hands, shaping it lovingly. Your beautiful heart. ~scar girl

30 Days Naked Day 23

Something Jesus calls me to have, is faith. SO many times in the new testament Jesus rebuked his disciples because of their lack of faith. In Matthew 17:20-21 after Jesus healed a demon possessed boy, Jesus' disciples asked why they couldn't heal the boy. Jesus replied: "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." In matthew 8 when Jesus calmed the storm, he told his disciples they had little faith and asked why they were so afraid. In matthew 9 Jesus healed a sick woman who touched his cloak and Jesus said to her: "your faith has healed you". Also in this chapter, Jesus heals the blind and mute saying "according to your faith will it be done to you", when they asked to be healed. In matthew 14 when Jesus walked on water, He called Peter, "You of little faith" and asked him why he doubted. I could name so many more examples. Faith is IMPORTANT. In Hebrews 11:6 it says: "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." In order to please the Lord who I admire and adore so much, I must have faith in Him. So What exactly is faith? Hebrews 11:1 says: "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." This can be so difficult for us as humans. How can we be sure of our hopes? How can we be absolutely sure, with no doubts, and certain of what we cannot see? Only with faith. Only with Jesus, the only source of hope.

30 Days Naked Day 22

There is something that is really bugging me tonight. Why do people date if they know that they are not going to marry that person in the future? If you have an answer I invite you, please comment. I know, I know; not everyone finds Mr. Or Mrs. Right right away. But not everyone goes into a relationship knowing they are going to break up do they? People say it's okay to date "for fun". When they say this they say it is carefree. So what? You are just "dating" someone and having all the benefits without an actual committment? Is that it? Then I heard the argument that you are just hanging out and having fun with that person and you don't have to be physical. That's great but why would you call that dating? Can you not have fun hanging out with a group of friends? Can you not get to know guys by being friends with them? I believe that friendships are more honest than the Start of a dating relationship anyway because you are not trying to impress the other person. When you are dating you tend to put your best face on to impress. And sometimes it is not who you really are. I know I have had many deep conversations with my guy friends that show me who they are, the good and the bad. I don't believe you have to date a certain amount of guys or girls to find that right one. I've known many people who have only dated one person, only kissed one person, only had sex with one person. Some people say that you have to go through many guys to learn lessons and figure out what you want in a guy and what you don't want. I don't know about you, but I can figure that out by observation and friendships rather than giving my heart away so many times in my life. ~scar girl

30 Days Naked Day 21

Do you ever feel like you've been replaced? Maybe your best friend replaced you with their boyfriend/girlfriend, or perhaps someone else recieved that promotion and you didn't. Perhaps you tried to help someone out and you got them started but they just went ahead without you. You're left behind..in the dust..not sure where to go or what to feel. Should you be upset? Should you just move on? Should you be sad? Hurt? Do you think you have this "spot" in someone's life? Will it be taken away? Will they change their minds in an instant? The human mind is waivering and unpredictable. What will be taken away and what will stay is uncertain. This life is not fulfilling. I can't find my worth in others or how they view me. Only Jesus.

30 Days Naked Day 20

"I have to get gas" This Is a phrase I've been saying to myself the past few days. Not only because my car is now on empty, but also because I am just flat out tired. I'm exhausted. It seems whenever I try to place some good in my life, it becomes overrun with the bad. Last Thursday morning I got up a little before 7 to run around my hilly neighborhood. I am quite out of shape and I wanted to get back in shape and be healthier. I was extremely sore that day and the next morning, but still I woke up and ran on Friday morning. I even bought I cool sport arm thing to hold my iPod while I run. Friday I felt pretty bad...sore..and it felt like my rib cage could pop in and out. It did this saturday too and my neck and shoulders hurt. Saturday I night I had what felt like a spasm in my neck and by Sunday morning I couldn't lift my right arm without tremendous pain. Is this what I get for running and trying to take care of my body? I began this fast 20 days ago. Sometimes I feel like God has left me. Even though I have given up things for Him...bad things still happen. I'm tired. I'm exhausted...physically,emotionally, and spiritually.. I'm running on empty.

30 Days Naked Day 19

Sometimes I feel helpless. I can't do anything. I am in extreme pain right now. I can't concentrate. I can't seem to study for 2 finals I have tomorrow. I can't get comfortable. I can't sleep. I can't feel. I have so much on my mind. I can't help anyone. I don't know what it feels like. How can I do anything? My heart cries out and longs to help others. And it aches because I can't do a thing. I am helpless. But thank you Jesus I am not hopeless. Hold me now.

30 Days Naked Day 18

I once heard it said that once you are born, you begin dying. When you take your first breath, second breath, third breath, ect, you are slowly making your way to your last breath. In my life, right now, I am slowly dying. So..in a way..we all have a slow death. And since life is full of struggles, difficulties, and pain, we all have some sort of a painful death. We all are dying. Slowly. Painfully. I am not sure about you, but this sounds utterly depressing to me. I really wanted something positive to bring light into such a negative and pessemistic comment. Today I read 2 Corinthians 4. In verses 10-12 it says: "we always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you." Though we are dying, we have a Savior who gives us life. We have this life because of His death. We give our lives in worship to the one who is alive. Verse 14 says: "because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence." In our death we will have life because we recieve the gift of dwelling with the Lord in heaven forever. Verses 16-18 say: "therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

30 Days Naked Day 17

I believe in shouting. I believe shouting is awesome. Sometimes i need to shout...to yell..or even to scream. Yesterday was one of those days. Last night I read Psalm 30 and 31, which I encourage you to read also. Psalm 30:2 says "O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me." I am broken just like in Psalm 31:12: "..I have become broken like pottery." but verse 14 says: "but I trust in you, O Lord; I say, 'you are my God'." He is my God. He is my Father. We've been through everything together. He has never left me. Why would I leave Him now? I have done that before, and I have experienced the aloneness and the emptiness it brings. Psalm 30:5-7 "for His anger lasts only a moment, but His favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes with the morning. When I felt secure, I said, 'I will never be shaken.' O Lord, when you favored me, you made my mountain stand firm; but when you hid your face, I was dismayed." Lord I am broken, But you are the healer. Lord I am dismayed, But you are still here. Lord I am lost, But you save me in your unfailing love. I know you preserve the faithful. I will be strong and take heart for you are good.

30 Days Naked Day 16

Why is this world so unfair? Why is it so horrible? Why do bad things happen? More importantly, why does it have to happen to such amazing people? They fall down and their faith is tested. It seems like such a great journey and they are thankful to God by the end. The second time is more difficult. It is long and grueling on them and everyone around them. But in the end they say "God is good". Why must it keep happening? Lord I thought I learned. What else do you have for me? What else do you have for them? Must it keep on happening? Will my dejavu continue? Is this your joy? To have your people suffer? I'm shouting. I shout to you who is so great. What have I done? What have I done. So I thought you listened. I thought you heard me. Will you answer prayer and take it away less than 6 months later? I guess it is true. So I have heard: you give and take away.

30 Days Naked Day 15

I'm tired. I'm scared. I'm stressed. I'm nervous. I'm impatient. School is weighing me down. I'm ready to finish. Life is becoming difficult. Halfway there Please don't stare I am sick inside and out All I want to do is pout Please end the stress I'm such a mess I'm tired and I'm scared I don't know why I dared I feel like I'm falling No one hears my calling Sometimes I wish I could physically feel Jesus. I wish I could feel him hold me and comfort me. I wish I could hear His voice audibly and know He is with me. I feel broken. I write when I need to vent. I apologize for this discouraging post.

30 Days Naked Day 14

Sitting in my room. Nervous. Sweating. I was going to leave soon. "Why do I become so nervous when i speak in front of people?" i asked myself. I became angry. I looked in the mirror, feeling naked. I have never wanted to put on makeup so bad. I always feel naked when I speak in front of people, and that is with makeup. Now I felt completely exposed. I had to keep praying to resist the temptation. I drove to class blaring music to get my mind off of what was about to happen. In the class room I waited anxiously while others presented. Ever since I was little I would sing this song my mom taught me: "God has not given us a spirit of fear. But he has given unto us, a spirit of power, a spirit of love, and a sound mind". This comes from 1 timothy 1:7. I used to always sing this at night when I would be frightened of the furnace. I still sing it in my head whenever I am nervous or scared. I sat in my chair singing this in my head while I waited. It was my turn. I set up the computer and I was shaking while I did it. I looked up at the class and saw all of the faces staring at me. Waiting. I decided to be honest. "I'm nervous" I said. I told the class that I become quite nervous when speaking in front of people so I would like to pray before I began. So I prayed and then I presented. Very strange. But it was the best thing to do.

30 Days Naked Day 13

0 comments. 0 comments. 0 comments. Does anyone read my blog? Or even like it? These questions go through my head every day. Why am I doing this? The devil feeds me these lies saying that this is a stupid idea. no one cares. Though these statements may be true, this is not where my gaze should be fixated. Hebrews 12:1-3 "therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scornibg it's shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." I shall set my gaze upon Christ and Christ alone. He will not let me grow tired. He will give me strength to finish the race

30 Days Naked Day 12

Did you not sleep that well last night? It's funny how one little question or comment can make you feel like the ugliest person in the world. One little event can make you think completely different about life. One little action can make you hold a grudge for years. One little facial expression can make you feel insignificant and depressed. Life Is full of little things...that make a big impact. Today I felt ugly. Today I felt happy. Today I felt insignificant. Today I felt scared. Today I felt annoyed. Today i realized that such little things can impact how i think, how i feel, what i do, and what i am going to do. What little things do I do that affect others in a big way? Is it positive? Or is it negative? Or is it both? James 3:9 "with the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers (and sisters) this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers (and sisters), can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water." I need to watch what comes out of my mouth. I know from experience that it hurts...

30 Days Naked Day 11

"Jesus loves me this I know. For the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong. They are weak but He is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes Jesus loves me. The bible tells me so." You might laugh when you hear this song. They are just simple words sung to a simple song that we all sang when we were younger. But these words..these words that are so "simple", are so incredible. John 3:16: "For God SO LOVED the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." A verse heard so often...but really such a powerful statement. God loved the world (a dirty sinful mess) so much that He gave His only son. His son ended up dying for our sins. Yes, Jesus came back to life, but He still died and took up all that pain..for us. Jesus loves us. It's so incredible..sometimes even unimaginable. But I know it's true. In the new testament during Jesus' time on earth, I see how He loved. The shortest verse in the Bible (John 11:35) says, "Jesus wept". A lot of people remember this verse. But..why was Jesus weeping? He was weeping because his friend Lazarus, whom he loved, died. One of my favorite verses is Romans 8:39: "neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of our God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." God's love is so amazing. And what's even better: nothing can separate me from It. Jesus loves me this I know.