For a Little While

Only fun for a little while
but I can’t see anyone then
Everyone fades away
into the mist of my pen
I hold it up high
that is all I can do
Just write myself by
All the aches and pains that I feel
and everything disappears
but only for a little while.
It all comes back in time,
comes to haunt me when I sleep,
I can’t even close my eyes.

30 Days Naked Day 20

"I have to get gas" This Is a phrase I've been saying to myself the past few days. Not only because my car is now on empty, but also because I am just flat out tired. I'm exhausted. It seems whenever I try to place some good in my life, it becomes overrun with the bad. Last Thursday morning I got up a little before 7 to run around my hilly neighborhood. I am quite out of shape and I wanted to get back in shape and be healthier. I was extremely sore that day and the next morning, but still I woke up and ran on Friday morning. I even bought I cool sport arm thing to hold my iPod while I run. Friday I felt pretty bad...sore..and it felt like my rib cage could pop in and out. It did this saturday too and my neck and shoulders hurt. Saturday I night I had what felt like a spasm in my neck and by Sunday morning I couldn't lift my right arm without tremendous pain. Is this what I get for running and trying to take care of my body? I began this fast 20 days ago. Sometimes I feel like God has left me. Even though I have given up things for Him...bad things still happen. I'm tired. I'm exhausted...physically,emotionally, and spiritually.. I'm running on empty.

30 Days Naked Day 19

Sometimes I feel helpless. I can't do anything. I am in extreme pain right now. I can't concentrate. I can't seem to study for 2 finals I have tomorrow. I can't get comfortable. I can't sleep. I can't feel. I have so much on my mind. I can't help anyone. I don't know what it feels like. How can I do anything? My heart cries out and longs to help others. And it aches because I can't do a thing. I am helpless. But thank you Jesus I am not hopeless. Hold me now.