Realize

You look in my eyes but you don't realize.
I really am sorry.
You see the way I look at you but you do not understand.
It hurts me to hurt you again.
You hear the words I speak and yet you do not listen.
I don't want it to be this way.
I can talk and you can yell but does it help anything?
In the end it is your decision.

30 Days Naked Day 17

I believe in shouting. I believe shouting is awesome. Sometimes i need to shout...to yell..or even to scream. Yesterday was one of those days. Last night I read Psalm 30 and 31, which I encourage you to read also. Psalm 30:2 says "O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me." I am broken just like in Psalm 31:12: "..I have become broken like pottery." but verse 14 says: "but I trust in you, O Lord; I say, 'you are my God'." He is my God. He is my Father. We've been through everything together. He has never left me. Why would I leave Him now? I have done that before, and I have experienced the aloneness and the emptiness it brings. Psalm 30:5-7 "for His anger lasts only a moment, but His favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes with the morning. When I felt secure, I said, 'I will never be shaken.' O Lord, when you favored me, you made my mountain stand firm; but when you hid your face, I was dismayed." Lord I am broken, But you are the healer. Lord I am dismayed, But you are still here. Lord I am lost, But you save me in your unfailing love. I know you preserve the faithful. I will be strong and take heart for you are good.

30 Days Naked Day 16 part 2

Here I am Broken again I've been put back together too many times I don't know if I can handle this What have I done wrong? Lord, please tell me I gave it up for you Did I do the wrong thing? The pressure is too much I am not sure what to do How could you? I'm speechless I don't know what to think I'm so frightened And so scared Are you here? Do you care? Do you see how I love? Is it not enough? What am I supposed to learn? I'm waiting Waiting for your answer You are silent Do you hear me? I'm shouting, yelling, screaming I'm falling apart Can't take another blow I can't feel my heart You are the only one that heals But why would an injured man go back to the man who beat him up? Did you do this? Is it real? I don't understand Oh God I do not Comprehend