Understand

Here I sit in class waiting for it to end.
Too many thoughts on my mind to even transcend.
If I were free what would I do?
I think of the best nights I had,
and somehow they are all of you.
All the times we walked around
the lake that never made a sound,
and when we talked
we could never stop,
cause that's just how we are.
Those late night phone conversations
that consist of nonsense and reality.
Sometimes it really gets to me
because I wonder
why you are the only one who understands.

You Don't Know Me

You don’t know me
My dreams, my goals
Aspirations and visions
Did you take the time to notice?
I don’t think so
You’d have to read between the lines
What I love, to hate
See the message in my eyes, no
And you call yourself my best friend
I don’t think so
The people who you’d least expect
Yes, they know me
See potential, even though I’m tried
They search the broken
Missing pieces they find
See the me In the dark
Use the flashlight to see
What’s the line?
Who really cares?
Just tell me what you think of me
You don’t know?
That’s what I thought
Go back to sleep
Slumbering instead of noticing

Whatever

Just admit it
You don’t care
Did you ever?
See my stare
Searching
For your heart
Whatever
Off the chart
No promises
Swearing Oaths
And declaring
Keep it simple
Whatever
Do what you must
Just don’t break
My heart of trust
Too late
No more
I’m in this state
On the floor
Whatever

If you only knew

If you only knew the hurt
If you only knew the pain
It's like you don't care
You're making me go insane
How can we be friends like this?
How can we go on?
I'm not even missed
I don't know how to talk to you
I don't know how to say
You're not even close to true
and I wonder every day
Do you really care?
Do you really love?
It is very rare
to hear from you
I have to force it from you
The small talk and the deep
What would you do If I stopped trying?
Would we disappear?
Disappear in to thin air
Gone forever
Only memories beware
If you only knew

We Used to Never

My heart sinks when I think of you
Our past friendship that is lost
I cry myself to sleep some nights
I never thought about the cost
Of never staying in touch
Or even calling to say hi
Never getting lunch
Or even waving goodbye
Why did I give up something?
That was once so great
Why didn't I try harder?
To plan a little date
We used to talk
We used to laugh
We used to walk
Together we were
But never again
I wish it weren't true
I wish we were friends
I see you all the time
I see your new friends
I don't see your face
Or you even look at me
You turn away
Avoid my gaze
I'm not saying I don't do it too
I'm just saying my heart aches
Regret of what fate knew was coming

30 Days Naked Day 22

There is something that is really bugging me tonight. Why do people date if they know that they are not going to marry that person in the future? If you have an answer I invite you, please comment. I know, I know; not everyone finds Mr. Or Mrs. Right right away. But not everyone goes into a relationship knowing they are going to break up do they? People say it's okay to date "for fun". When they say this they say it is carefree. So what? You are just "dating" someone and having all the benefits without an actual committment? Is that it? Then I heard the argument that you are just hanging out and having fun with that person and you don't have to be physical. That's great but why would you call that dating? Can you not have fun hanging out with a group of friends? Can you not get to know guys by being friends with them? I believe that friendships are more honest than the Start of a dating relationship anyway because you are not trying to impress the other person. When you are dating you tend to put your best face on to impress. And sometimes it is not who you really are. I know I have had many deep conversations with my guy friends that show me who they are, the good and the bad. I don't believe you have to date a certain amount of guys or girls to find that right one. I've known many people who have only dated one person, only kissed one person, only had sex with one person. Some people say that you have to go through many guys to learn lessons and figure out what you want in a guy and what you don't want. I don't know about you, but I can figure that out by observation and friendships rather than giving my heart away so many times in my life. ~scar girl

30 Days Naked Day 21

Do you ever feel like you've been replaced? Maybe your best friend replaced you with their boyfriend/girlfriend, or perhaps someone else recieved that promotion and you didn't. Perhaps you tried to help someone out and you got them started but they just went ahead without you. You're left behind..in the dust..not sure where to go or what to feel. Should you be upset? Should you just move on? Should you be sad? Hurt? Do you think you have this "spot" in someone's life? Will it be taken away? Will they change their minds in an instant? The human mind is waivering and unpredictable. What will be taken away and what will stay is uncertain. This life is not fulfilling. I can't find my worth in others or how they view me. Only Jesus.