I don't think I believe what I believe anymore

I don’t think I believe what I believe anymore.
If only, if only I knew what was true.
My mind fights and fights to try to even the score
but honestly I really don’t have a clue.
When I run I sweat,
when I laugh I smile.
The truth hits me over the head
as I run half a mile.
I just run away from the troubles I face,
no confrontation,
because that’s just not my place.
I need a vacation.
I don’t think I believe what I believe anymore.
Is this really supposed to happen?
Life is just a whore,
repeating itself, and being used over and over again.
I’ve seen these tears before
somewhere in a dream,
they were waiting at the door
and biting the screen.
What is regret?
It is my enemy,
watching me fret
as I pace endlessly.
I don’t think I believe what I believe anymore.

Flashback

Sometimes I have flashbacks of the days I regret
sometimes my dreams are nightmares,
my mind does nothing but fret.
These thoughts they give me scares,
they frighten me to death.
These dreams they are so vivid.
My past is giving me a heart attack.
But what frightens me?
The past is done and gone
I've moved on,
but in the back of my mind
I wonder all the time,
what if it happens again?
What if I screw up once more?
The flashbacks come,
the nightmares rise,
oh how I hate remembering
my almost demise.

Important at the Time

It’s funny what seemed important at the time
Now it doesn’t mean anything
Not anything at all I thought that it’d last forever
But no, it didn’t last long at all
What I poured my heart into
All the time I wasted
Did it mean anything at all?
Just another mistake
Just another regret
Look at me
Aren’t I piling them on?
But it seemed important at the time
Boy was I wrong
It wasn’t even close to sublime
It wasn’t even long
A speedy recovery
Or so it seemed
It just seemed important at the time

We Used to Never

My heart sinks when I think of you
Our past friendship that is lost
I cry myself to sleep some nights
I never thought about the cost
Of never staying in touch
Or even calling to say hi
Never getting lunch
Or even waving goodbye
Why did I give up something?
That was once so great
Why didn't I try harder?
To plan a little date
We used to talk
We used to laugh
We used to walk
Together we were
But never again
I wish it weren't true
I wish we were friends
I see you all the time
I see your new friends
I don't see your face
Or you even look at me
You turn away
Avoid my gaze
I'm not saying I don't do it too
I'm just saying my heart aches
Regret of what fate knew was coming