Run Away

I’m all alone tonight, sitting in my room

I find myself thinking

Thinking of you

I don’t know how

How to go on

I need to break this now

This habit of running

It’s just like the sweat on my brow

I can’t seem to see, what’s right in front of me

This sticky sweaty mess is blinding

I don’t want this anymore

Running is what gives me peace

This sitting down is tearing me up inside

But I see the track out my window

I sit and stare, but I don’t go

I wish that I were brave

But this fear of staying is unbearable

Where are you?

Where are you darling?

I want to find you

But I’m so scared

Do I even know you?

Are you here?

I want to make the right choice

But how can I, if you hide

I want to run away

Far into the wilderness

Where I can just pray

Pray that you will find me

But if you came I wonder if I’d even recognize you

30 Days Naked Day 14

Sitting in my room. Nervous. Sweating. I was going to leave soon. "Why do I become so nervous when i speak in front of people?" i asked myself. I became angry. I looked in the mirror, feeling naked. I have never wanted to put on makeup so bad. I always feel naked when I speak in front of people, and that is with makeup. Now I felt completely exposed. I had to keep praying to resist the temptation. I drove to class blaring music to get my mind off of what was about to happen. In the class room I waited anxiously while others presented. Ever since I was little I would sing this song my mom taught me: "God has not given us a spirit of fear. But he has given unto us, a spirit of power, a spirit of love, and a sound mind". This comes from 1 timothy 1:7. I used to always sing this at night when I would be frightened of the furnace. I still sing it in my head whenever I am nervous or scared. I sat in my chair singing this in my head while I waited. It was my turn. I set up the computer and I was shaking while I did it. I looked up at the class and saw all of the faces staring at me. Waiting. I decided to be honest. "I'm nervous" I said. I told the class that I become quite nervous when speaking in front of people so I would like to pray before I began. So I prayed and then I presented. Very strange. But it was the best thing to do.