I Need A Breath

Tonight I watched a movie that I will not recomend, nor name. It was a silly movie, what you would call "stupid" or "corny" or maybe even "lame". Normally, people don't cry in stupid movies. Nor in corny or even lame ones. No. I didn't cry. My eyes just watered up and stung badly. But why? Why? Why did I cry? Maybe because the word "love" was mentioned quite a few times. Maybe because I understood some of the pain that was being portrayed, no matter how silly it was. Maybe because I missed feeling careless. Maybe because I was sad for the ignorant characters played in the movie. Maybe I cried because I missed the little things...Or maybe just because I was just emotionally strained. I realized this week and last that I need a day. A day to breath. A day to be silent. A day to contmplate and think and more importantly, a day to pray and just be still. Today is that day. I am spending this whole day silent until midnight, the beginning of the tenth of june. I am also spending the day barefoot. I hope to really spend the day with God. To stand in his presence. I remembered the story in the Bible about God talking to Moses through the burning bush. He told him to take off his sandals for the ground he was standing on was Holy ground. I hope today to be a great experience. I turned off my phone and I will only blog once more on my other blog www.thirtydaysofyou.blogspot.com for my 3rd day of fasting from facebook. Psalm 46:10 "Be still and Know that I Am God."

Sick of This

Together but not
Separate but alright
Slipping away from what was taught
Please let’s just fight
Tired of this monotony
It will fade
Just wait and see
Sometimes I’m not so sure
Waiting waiting
To go back to the way we were
Don’t speak
Be silent
Your words they hurt
Blind and in my side I feel like dirt
It doesn’t get any easier
This climb isn’t up
There is no top to this mountain
No reward
Man this sucks

Another 30 days. Different blog

Hello there. I created a new blog www.thirtydaysofyou.blogspot.com . I am now going without facebook for 30 days. The information for what this blog is being used for and will be used for is on the blog itself. And I would appreciate it and be very thankful if you checked it out. Ali

I Don't Know What the Future Holds, but I Know Who's Holding the Future

My best friend wrote Matthew 6:31-34 on my hand today when she surprised me and visited me at work. When I arrived home, I immediately read the verses. "So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." I spend a lot of my day worrying. Whether it be about struggles I am going through, whether I will have enough time to do everything I need to do, or even what other people think of me. But why do I worry? I have a God who can do immeasurably more than I could ever ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). I should FIRST seek HIS Kingdom and HIS Righteousness. If I seek HIM and follow after HIM, all my needs will be met because I am focused solely on my wonderful Father. I shouldn't worry about tomorrow. God has that in His hands. I read a quote today in the book "Do Hards Things". It was from a girl around my age. She said, "I don't know what the future holds, but I know Who's holding the future." That gives me peace.

Holy Ambition

My life has changed drastically. My plans went down the drain. God told me that my plans were not His plans. I was confused, I doubted, I questioned. God said He knew what he was doing. And so now I'm wondering...what now? He said it's not the time, so I will wait. But what do I do in the meantime? Today I was reading a "Do Hard Things" by Alex and Brett Harris (a book on my summer reading list). The whole book is about a teenage rebellion against low expectations. In the chapter entitled "Generation Rising" they began talking about teenagers who had incredible ideas and made them into world changing organizations. They then used the word "Holy Ambition". I then read this: "John Piper, pasor and author, defines a holy ambition as something that you really, really, really want to do--and that God wants you to do to also. Some people would call this passion, but it's passion under the Lordship of Jesus Christ. What's yours?" I began thinking. Thinking of all the things I wanted to do and ideas that have crossed my mind in the past that I have not acted on. The world seemed to open up. So many opportunities. So..now what? Time for prayer. A song came to my mind as I was contemplating this. Here are the lyrics: "Give me one pure and holy passion Give me one magnificent obsession Give me one glorious ambition for my life To know and follow hard after You To know and follow hard after you To grow as your dicsiple in your truth This world is empty, pale, and poor Compared to knowing you, my Lord Lead me on and I will run after you Lead me on and I will run after you Give me one pure and holy passion Give me one magnificent obsession Give me one glorious ambition for my life To know and follow hard after you To know and follow hard after you To grow as your disciple in the truth This world is empty, pale, and poor Compared to knowing you my Lord Lead me on and I will run after you Lord to know and follow hard after you And to grow as your disciple in your truth This world is empty, pale, and poor Compared to knowing you my Lord Lead me on and I will run after you Lead me on and I will run after you Lead me on and I will run after you" I need to follow after Him; run after Him. Know Him. And I believe that if I do that, and my mindset is focused solely on Him, His plans will become my plans. His ambitions will become my ambitions. His passions will become my passions. And everything will work out for the good, because I love Him.